am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
