Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think your dad took our porno
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
