I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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