So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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