He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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