we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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