I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
