AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
