i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
