If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Dignity is for republicans.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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