Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
