I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
