She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
