White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's the barista slut.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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