And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
