how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
