Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
