Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
