HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
