All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
