I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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