He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
