11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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