This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
