I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
