NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
