We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
