Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
