is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
