My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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