Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
