Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
