you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
