I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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