Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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