so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
