Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
