i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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