Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Too much gin, very little bucket
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
