It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's never too late to be topless.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
