I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
