This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
