Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i out mim tonsoeep
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