i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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