So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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