we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
