Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
