I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
