nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is it because I queefed?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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