What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
